| life is good. |
[06 Jun 2005|07:17am] |
this too will come to pass you swore
but i feel much too different than i did before i met you.
and nothing ever changes when
you fall in love with just a friend,
and i don't think i can go through this anymore.
if you read this, don't think i'm bummed out, cause i'm not. life is great right now.
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[01 Jun 2005|12:43pm] |
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life is good. that is all.
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[06 May 2005|07:56am] |
there must be one thing i can do
that would make you love me.
and i'm going to find it.
even if i have to spend the rest of my life
i'm going to find out what makes you breath... deeply.
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[04 May 2005|10:23pm] |
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it really bigs me when people are a selfish as i am.
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[20 Mar 2005|04:10am] |
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why does she have to be so far away? CT is a long way to drive. way to leave vermont.
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[24 Feb 2005|03:57am] |
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so i got a new guitar. sweet.
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| is now good? |
[16 Feb 2005|12:10am] |
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blah blah blah. weird shit's going down here. i have no job, no money and no desire to do anything. its sweet. i have a secret admirer too apparently. weird. who knows. maybe something cool will come of it. i'm moving west in 5 months. word.
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[21 Dec 2004|11:42pm] |
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i <3 mario sunshine.
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| stolllllen from jordan-tron |
[09 Nov 2004|10:12pm] |
LAYER ONE
-- first name: matthew
-- nickname(s): matt, matty, fatty... stuff like that
-- birthplace: springfield vermont
-- current location: morrisville vermont
-- eye color: Blue
-- hair color: dirty blonde
-- height: between 5'6 and 5'9 depending on who you ask
-- righty or lefty: righty.
-- zodiac sign: cancer
LAYER TWO:
-- your weakness: deep water, bright blue eyes, dark brown eyes
-- your fears: dying alone
-- goal you'd like to achieve: i would like to be a loving husband, and father who drives kids to practice and never misses a game, and tells the kids stories till they fall asleep, and then sings his wife to sleep with songs that are pretty much sweet nothings set to music. sigh.
LAYER THREE:
-- your most overused phrase on MSN/AIM/ICQ: fair enough
-- your thoughts first waking up: jesus christ its hot in here!
-- your bedtime: 11 or 12.
-- your most missed memory: i had a perfect day, and then i made the wrong choice... i wish i could change things
LAYER FOUR:
-- pepsi or coke: dr. pepper
-- single or group dates: well turns out i haven't done either since HS. um... depends i guess.
-- adidas or nike: asics
-- lipton ice tea or nestea: they both make my throat feel wierd.
-- chocolate or vanilla: vanilla.
-- cappuccino or coffee: i have to say hot chocolate.
LAYER FIVE:
-- smoke: ewww.
-- curse: only at the worst possible times
-- sing: thats all i do.
-- take a shower everyday: yesss. not always first thing in the morning, but always
-- have a crush: yeah. i do.
-- do you think you've been in love: i thought so. who knows
-- like(d) high school: in hingsight, yes highschool was a good time... i was just looking at it from the wrong angles.
-- want to get married: yesssss. to who? thats up in the air.
-- believe in yourself: yes. i do. i am always here for me.
-- get motion sickness: one time. i puked on a brand new batman comic. what a shitty day.
-- get along with your parent(s): more so now, than 5 years ago.
-- Like thunderstorms: yesssssss. booom.
-- play an instrument: once again, thats all i do.
LAYER SIX:
in the past month... (the last 30 days)
-- drank alcohol: i have not.
-- smoked: very definitly not, thats not on my list.
-- kissed someone: yes!
-- had sex: no.
-- gone on a date: nope.
-- gone to the mall?: yeah. new shoe day rules!
-- eaten an entire box of oreo's: wow! oreos are good! i haven't had oreos in a long time, and every time i go to type the word oreos, i type oreaos. wierd.
-- eaten sushi: baaarf.
-- been on stage: no. i miss playing shows
-- been dumped: no. been rejected? yess
-- gone skating: me? in the cold? HA!
-- made homemade cookies: can't say that i have
-- gone skinny-dipping: me? naked in public? HA!
-- dyed your hair: nope.
-- stolen anything: i couldn't live with myself if i stole something.
LAYER SEVEN:
ever...
-- played a game that required removal of clothing: nope
-- been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nope.
-- been caught "doing something": errr... yes.
-- been called a tease: hahahahaha... no!
-- gotten beaten up: not really. i've exchanged punches before... but it was pretty fair.
-- changed who you were to fit in: i hate to say it... but yeah.
LAYER EIGHT:
-- age you hope to be married: 24 or 25
-- numbers and names of children: 2, female = elle or nora male= liam matthew
-- describe your dream wedding: small, close family and friends, anything she wants. love.
-- what do you want to be when you grow up: that guy who plays music for his wife, and lives evey day waiting to come home to the woman he loves, regardless of what he has to do during the day to keep her warm. someone kill me. hahaha
-- what country would you most like to visit: sweden
LAYER NINE:
in a guy/girl...
-- best eye color: dark brown, or light blue
-- best hair color: the inside counts.
-- short or long hair: i'm not picky
-- height: i don't care. taller is fine. shorter is fine.
-- best weight: health centered. overweight isn't a problem, as long as she is healthy and happy.
-- best articles of clothes: stylish is a must.
-- best first date location: "you pick a place, thats where i'll be"
-- best first kiss location: on my couch, watching cartoons
LAYER TEN:
-- # of illegal drugs you've tried: 0
-- # of people I could trust with my life: 5
-- # of pets you want, what kinds, names: maybe a dog.
-- # of CDs that I own: sooo many. well over 300. but then thats all i spend my money on.
-- # of piercings: 2.
-- # of tattoos: 2 huge ones
-- # of scars on my body: small ones
-- # of things in my past that I regret: 1 beg event that led to several smaller ones.
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[05 Nov 2004|10:01pm] |
so... the jetta gave up the ghost... even after all that money and stress and money and money and time that was put into her.
... rip. 1996-2004.
*throws dirt on the grave*
as you can see i'm not all that torn up about it. haha.
i did get a replacement vehicle of course... it is uh.... far far sweeter than the jetta haha.
lets just say its 185 bhp of turbocharged swedish steel. hehehehehe. i love life. i owe soooo much money. hahahahahahahahahahahaha
what a bad idea!!!
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[08 Oct 2004|10:14pm] |
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got the job! full time! plus benefits! = i can finally start paying people back! woop.
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[04 Oct 2004|11:38pm] |
so... funny story.
i have the most important job interview of my young dull life tomorrow morning, and haha... whoo. i don't think i have enough gas to get me there.
and... haha. and.. i need to bring a resume with me, i got one copy of this shitty ass fucking resume to print out in draft form, so not only does it look like ass but i just spilled coffee on it too. god dammit. i can't get it to print again. it just spits out paper. why does god hate me?
oh well. who knows.
anyways, at noon tomorrow i either will or will not be employed by mental health.
wish me luck. its a real job and i'm gonna need real luck.
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[04 Oct 2004|05:53pm] |
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so i decided i really like the black keys.
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[23 Sep 2004|03:59am] |
1. What is the geekiest part of your music collection?
chicago's greatest hits
2. What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?
probably an apple or something involving fruit: natures candy
3. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
simon birch
4. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
i would graft a minigun that only fires nudity inducers onto my left shoulder
5. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
spiders. deep water
6. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments?
playing guitar.
7. Are you a pyromaniac?
not so much
8. Do you have too many love interests?
nope. just one.
9. Do you know anyone famous?
again. not so much. i know a bunch of completely inconsequential people though!
10. Describe your bed:
wonderfullllllll!
11. Spontaneous or planned?
planning is never a horrible idea.
12. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
jack black. mahahah
13. Do you know how to play poker?
badly, yes
14. What do you carry with you at all times?
MY DICKKK!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... and by that i mean, keys, wallet.
15. What do you miss most about being a kid?
not having to have a job.
16. Are you happy with your given name?
yes, it suits me
17. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
well, 40,000 preferably, lord knows i need a new saab. but if you could give me a really good reason i would do it for free.
18. What color is your bedroom?
you know what, its yellow. isn't that wierd?
19. What was the last song you were listening to?
fault and fracture
20. Have you ever been in a play?
in high school.
21. Have you ever been in love?
who the hell knows anymore. girls tell me i don't know what love is, and then they turn around and eff everyone but me.
22. Do you talk a lot?
ummm. pretty much. do i say a lot? nooooo.
23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
depends on the situation
24. Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
meh. everyone has bad times.
25. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
honestly? i'm kind of a dink.
26. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?
well, i live with pretty much my only friend in this area, coincidentally, i would like her to be my girlfriend, but turns out thats not going to happen. wierd.
27. What is your ideal marriage location?
that will be determined at a later date
28. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play that you can't?
guitar, bass, drums, harmonica, banjo
29. Favorite fabric?
the one that covers my hideously unnatractive body
30. Something you love and hate?
money
31. What kind of bedding do you use?
standard stuff, except with spiderman designs
32. Do you tell your friends about your sex life?
what sex life?
33. What's the one language you want to learn?
french
34. How do you eat an apple?
take a bite, continue to do so until said apple is gone.
35. What do you order at a bar?
water
36. Have you ever pierced your body parts?
just the ears
37. Do you have tattoos?
i have a half sleeve on my left forearm
39. Do you drive stick?
its the only way to drive
40. What's one trait you hate in a person?
success. hahahahaha
41. What kind of watch(es) do you wear?
watches bug the fucking shit out of me.
42. Most frivolous purchase?
loooots of cd's
43. Do you consider yourself materialistic?
only when i'm spending all of my money on shit i don't need. haha
44. What do you cook the best?
vegan calzones/completely non vegan omletes
45. Favorite writing instrument?
the one that makes a mark
46. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
honestly, sometimes i want distinction, but then other times i wish people would leave me alone. eveeery person i meet has to ask me "does that hurt? does your mother approve?" god dammit. leave me alone.
47. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
possibly.
48. What's one car you will never buy?
anything american.
49. What kind of books do you like to read?
anything with batman in it.
50. If you won the lottery, what would you do?
buy a new saab, pay off all my bills, parents bills, and then buy house in burlington and do the rock and roll thing
51. Burial or cremation?
who cares, i'll be dead.
52. What's one thing you're a sore loser at?
money, limbs, family members
53. If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
if i dont like you, chances are good you'll feel a burning bitter hatred coming out of my mouth. or chances are good you won't hear or see me at all.
54. Do you cry in front of your friends?
its happened.
55. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
i'm pretty sure that everyone in the world thinks i'm a dick.
56. What's one thing you like to do alone?
poop.
57. Are you a giver or a taker?
a definite giver
58. When's the last time you cried?
about 6 months ago.
59. Favorite communication method?
standard stuff.
60. How many drinks before you're tipsy?
fuck drinking, there are so many better ways to waste my money, time and brain cells.
61. Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?
yes, there is a no nudity clause in my contract.
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[23 Sep 2004|03:51am] |
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whooo. i'm going to be unemployed in a week! mmmexcellent.
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[27 Aug 2004|02:03pm] |
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lalalalala. work. nooooooo.
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[15 Jul 2004|12:53am] |
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so turns out i have a place to live now. sweet.
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[03 Jul 2004|01:27am] |
I KNOW: now? that life is so much more than i thought it was.
I HAVE: a lot to learn, and a lot to show people
I WISH: i could take back the last five years and not be a jackass.
I HATE: tribal tattoos
I MISS: my oldest friend
I FEAR: oatmeal, being homeless
I HEAR: the heater humming
I SEARCH: the internet for a home.
I WONDER: how the hell those dudes never fall off the frames of unfinished skyscrapers
I REGRET: having regrets
I LOVE: justenough for me.
I ACHE: i do? thanks for letting me know.
I CARE: sure do. life would be lame if i didn't.
I ALWAYS: turn into a sixth grader inthe presence of pretty females
I AM NOT: thats not posi.
I DANCE: only to disco.
I SING: often in a state of nakedness
I CRY: no! you do!
I DO NOT ALWAYS: make my bed. i know. i'm going to hell for that one.
I WRITE: more than i read.
I WIN: MY LIFE!!!
I LOSE: no big deal!
I CONFUSE: patrick swayze and kevin bacon all the time!!! and i don't know why.
I LISTEN: the killers, iron and wine and nick drake
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: at work. or sleeping
I AM HAPPY ABOUT: my life. even though its a lonely one sometimes, i always have myself.
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[03 Jul 2004|12:38am] |
so i've come to a few interesting conclusions. (often harsh)(and not really conclusions, but more rude asinine statements, that verge on being incredibly horribly... bitter).
-having a half sleeve is sweet.
-eff the dudes who don't deserve to have girlfriends, and yet still do and abuse the gift of love.
-eff morrisville/johnson vermont. i want out.
-flip flops while very comfy can lead to very cold toes.
-tattoos. yeah yeah yeah.
-the new wilco is drug music.
-i need a girlfriend.
-and a place to live.
-and some friends.
-moving to burlington as planned is starting to look more and more like an impossibility every god damn day. eff eff eff.
-i need a hug.
-dick bitch ball boobs.
-i haven't seen senor david estey more than twice this year. and that sucks.
-in two weeks i will be ollld. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge.
-i love my mum and dad.
-i was born 6 years too early.
anywho. thats about it.
oh yeah. i recorded 17 acoustic songs, and only 16 of them have anything to do with me not having a girlfriend. thats a vast improvement from before. night muhfuggas.
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